Part I: Goatonapole

Forward, Onward, and Upward!
(All the While Remaining in the Same Place)
This zine is about Goatonapole, the philosophy of being that holds that there is a Goat and a Pole and that the Goat is on the Pole. Adherents of Goatonapole often shout the mantra "The goat's on a pole!" to remind others of this central and single tenet of Goatonapole, that they might come to a deeper understanding. This singular truth and its careful consideration comprise the next step forward in the search of conscious beings for meaning in existence.

Besides the singular truth of the Goat's relation to the Pole, the only thing you need to know is that the relation between Goat and Pole is the only thing you need to know. Anything beyond this, even the simple acts of naming Goat and Pole and describing their relation, is abstraction and artifice. By straying from Goatonapole, one may find only grief, lies, and self-deception.

Two objections may be leveled at the present work. First, most who have no previous knowledge of Goatonapole find it at first absurd and meaningless, accepting the knowledge of Goat and Pole on only the most superficial level. Second, it might at first seem that this zine is paradoxical in its message and approach: how is this text not itself a trip down the false path of abstraction? I'll be the first to say that everything within is lies, shining only palely when held up to the brilliant light and truth of Goatonapole. Only the image on the front cover directly embodies this truth, and the contents are meant to quell the doubts of the naysayers and to suggest a personal journey by which a thoughtful person might come to a deeper realization of this simple but profound truth.

If this zine is taken as dogma as have so many religious scriptures, it will lead one to nothing like truth. Any number of texts might be written on the subject, all contradicting one another and yet all reflecting the eternal truth of Goatonapole. I arrived at all of this through deep contemplation of Goatonapole, and the personal understanding I've reached is infinitely more valuable than the clumsy approximation laid out in this zine. The important thing in reading this account is to come to your own understanding of Goatonapole and to let the light of the truth embodied by the Goat, the Pole, and their relative positions shine from within you. Whenever this all seems like mindlessness, turn to the front cover and remind yourself that you're a Goat and that you're on a Pole. Only when this realization makes you jump out of your seat and up from the Pole will you truly understand.



Everything and Nothing
The Goat-raising
There's a Goat. There's a Pole. The Goat's on the Pole. Simply this and nothing more is Goatonapole.

The image of Goat on Pole depicts the emergence of duality from original unity and its return to unity through balance. Goatonapole is everything and nothing, comprising everything that has been and all that may be as well as all that is not. It is the first step and the last in the history of being and the search for meaning. In Goatonapole, the search for meaning is merely the last few steps in the history of being, and the whole development of the universe culminating in Goatonapole is known as the Goat-raising.

We as conscious beings are the product of innumerably many acts of balance, new being arising out of extant being and perpetuating its improbable existence upon the substrate of its progenitors. To picture the place of your consciousness in the universe, one must imagine countless goats stacked one upon another, a new goat constantly replacing the uppermost goat as the height of the pole increases. As the Goat-raising progresses, the lower goats cease to be goats and become all one improbably tall pole on which sits a single goat. This is the Goat-raising in its essence.

The existence of each goat depends on that of the pole upon which it stands. Without a pole to stand on, no goat could exist. You are the goat that rests on your own pole, among the highest at this late stage of the Goat-raising, and your consciousness is a delicate balance upon the pole, separating you from the possibility of not-being. This tenuous balance was made possible by the balancing acts of generations of past goats, all of them striving to rise above the pole and in so doing giving rise to higher goats. All these goats have become as Pole to you, the goat that they have begotten. And so shall future goats rise above you, making you as Pole to them, as being reaches to greater and greater heights.



The First Step and the Last
Goat Above Pole?
The whole history of the Goat-raising is predicated on the balance of Goat on Pole, the balance of the universe's existence on the possibility of non-existence, out of which all being arose. The original Goat-and-Pole, that great and sudden coming into being that birthed the universe, became Pole to all possible goats, breaking the surface of the depths of not-being and lending them a first step into the heights of being.

Goatonapole is the eternal thread that connects being to not-being and is paralleled on all levels of existence. Thus everything that exists reflects both Goat and Pole, while everything that does not exist has in it the seed of Goat, the potential to be on Pole. The vanguard of the Goat-raising, the goat which has reached the highest point above the ground of not-being, most directly embodies the Goat in its eternal struggle to rise above the Pole. The evolution of being reflects the Goat's struggle to balance on the Pole and to rise above it, separating itself ever farther from the ground of not-being in order to more fully realize the nature of its individual being as distinct from that of the Pole.

Now it is possible to realize that we've always been talking about the Goat, the Pole, and their relative positions. However, our search for meaning has borne only pale reflections of the tenuous balance of being, now blindingly clear in Goatonapole. In our search, we've convinced ourselves that we are merely Goat, setting our faith in complex webs of abstractions that serve only to shift the endeavor to a sole focus on the Goat and render ourselves more completely Goat. When we speak of a divine Creator, we are simply constructing a replacement for the Pole in the image of the Goat. Only by broadening the focus of our search for meaning to direct contemplation of both Goat and Pole, as well as their positions relative to one another and our own place in the picture, can we guide our journey toward a fruitful end.

As will be shown, the answer lies not beyond but within. The solution is not to rise above the Pole but to reunite with it.



The Beginning and the End
Goat and Pole as One
One all-important step is missing in the journey from modern man's search for meaning to the Goat's embrace of universal truth. Here the reader is advised to turn back to the front cover and dwell for awhile on the Goat's situation and its apparent serenity. How could a being in such an absurd and seemingly uncomfortable position be so happy as the Goat? Why doesn't it jump off the Pole, and why does it care so little for the outside world as to shut its eyes while in such a predicament?

The answer is that the Goat has come around from rejection to acceptance of the Pole and the fact of its existence as a balance upon it–rather, with it. Eyes closed, lips curled back in a smile of deep serenity, and utterly motionless, the Goat has found meaning and contentment in merely being, fully accepting the absurdity and tenuity of its existence. Having risen by so many steps up from the ground on which the Pole rests, the Goat has realized that the next step is to become again one with the Pole, giving rise to a new being which is both Goat and Pole but which knows itself.

As in the beginning there was no Goat or Pole but only unity, so in the end there will be a new being which is neither Goat nor Pole but is at the same time both, a being that is both whole and self-knowing, a being that encompasses the whole of the universe. This is the Goat's aim and Goatonapole in its essence. It is the true direction of the Goat-raising whose end will surely return to its beginning and yield something greater, a being whose search for meaning has ended and who can simply be. The truth is that the Goat has always been one with the Pole, its existence no more separate from that of the Pole than chemistry is from physics or biology from chemistry. One arises out of the other, bringing with it new being but always sharing in the being of its progenitor. The problem of our own existence is that our goat has risen so high that it can no longer see the Pole for what it is, failing to realize that the Goat is really one with the Pole.

The Goat's step from the panic of awareness to the serenity of pure being is the step that we, as the highest goats of our age, must take. We must come to a deep enough realization of our position as conscious beings in the world that we may close our eyes and remain still, ceasing to search and accepting the answer that has always been right under our hooves. Instead of looking upward, we must search inward, to the point of contact where Goat touches Pole, and rediscover the original unity out of which we first arose and to which we will soon return. Perhaps some new goat will arise out of the newfound unity, beginning another Goat-raising, but we'll never know until we take the next step and become Goatonapole.

Part II: Pole

Goat-and-Pole and the Coming into Being of Goat and Pole
In the beginning, there was only darkness and the boundless expanse of the waters. Nothing changed and there was no passing of time. Then Goat-and-Pole rose to the surface where the water met the air, and brilliant light emanated from It throughout all of creation.

Goat-and-Pole did not know itself and remained asleep. Then waking up, It felt a great restlessness and began throwing off from itself all that was not-Goat and not-Pole, that It might return to a peaceful rest in the heart of the waters.

Having thrown off all that was not-Goat and not-Pole and yet still not at ease, Goat-and-Pole felt a great disturbance at the center of Its being. As it rose in its tumult from the surface of the waters, part of Its being, that which was not-Goat, stretched down toward the waters. Where this part touched, there formed solid ground that broke the expanse of the waters. The other part of Goat-and-Pole, that which was not-Pole, stretched upward into the sky. Where this part touched, there formed solidity that broke the expanse of the sky.

The Center of Goat-and-Pole lay midway between Goat-to-be and Pole-to-be and spewed its being in both directions. Goat-to-be became as a ball and Pole-to-be became as a stick. When all but Centerness had left the Center and joined Goat-to-be or Pole-to-be, a final tremor sent the Goat-center upward and the Pole-base downward. Then all that remained at the Center, where had been Goat-and-Pole, was the meeting place of Goat-bottom and Pole-top.

And so the Goat-center was suspended above the Pole, and all else was as Pole to Goat-to-be.



The Anchoring of the Four Goat-corners to the Pole
The Pole lay motionless, fixed to the ground. Resting on it, the Goat-sphere trembled and undulated, beginning in its restlessness to rise above the Pole.

The Goat-sphere felt within it still something that was not-Goat and struggled to eject it, wanting to become purely Goat. A first pole shot down from the Goat-sphere, anchoring it to the Pole and yet pushing the Goat-sphere higher above the Pole. As the Goat-sphere reached its greatest height and began to topple, it trembled with uncertainty and wished to return to the Pole. A second pole shot down, again anchoring it to the Pole. The Goat-sphere then fell downward toward the Pole, and when it had reached its original position a third pole shot down and anchored the Goat-sphere to the Pole. Yet still the Goat-sphere fell toward the Pole, causing it great panic. At its lowest point, not wanting to rejoin the Pole and fearful that it might shatter against the Pole-top, the Goat-sphere shot down a fourth pole and began once more to rise, returning to its original position.

Now the Goat-sphere was once more connected to the Pole, yet elevated above it and possessing poles of its own, four in number. These poles then hardened and formed into the Goat-legs, each jointed at the middle and comprising two poles. Where each Goat-leg joined the Pole there formed a Goat-hoof, still connected to the Pole.

And so the Goat-sphere was suspended upon pole upon Pole, and all else was as Pole to the Goat-sphere.



The Movement of the Goat-center onto a Higher Pole
The restlessness of Goat-to-be continued, and the Goat-sphere continued to tremble. The Goat-center then began to move upward and forward from the middle of the Goat-sphere, wanting to distance itself from the Pole.

As the Goat-center reached the surface of the Goat-sphere above and between the two front Goat-legs, a spark of thought coursed through the Goat-sphere, but Goat-to-be still had no control-thought. Just as had the Goat-sphere risen above the Pole, so now did the Goat-center spring upward and forward out of the Goat-sphere, bringing with it some of the Goat-sphere's substance in the form of a ball.

The Goat-sphere then hardened and became the Goat-body. That which was not-Goat shot downward from the Goat-center, anchoring it to the Goat-sphere. This hardened and became the Goat-neck. That which was not-Pole shot upward and projected outward all around the Goat-center. This hardened and became the Goat-head. One final tremor coursed through the Goat-sphere, and all that was not-Goat and had remained within was shot backward, above and between the two back Goat-legs. This hardened and became the tail.

And so the Goat-center was suspended upon pole upon pole upon Pole, and all else was as Pole to the Goat-head.



The Anchoring of the Four Goat-corners to the Goat-head
Just as the Goat-sphere had held within it the seeds of four poles, so the Goat-head had within it the tumult of not-Goat within Goat. And so the Goat-head trembled, needing to purge the four poles from itself.

The first pair of poles shot out and became the Goat-horns, hard and sharp for butting. The second pair became the Goat-jaws, lined with teeth for biting. The third pair became the Goat-eyes, receiving light so that the horns and jaws might find their target. And the fourth pair became the Goat-ears, receiving sound to more readily guide the horns and jaws to their target.

The Goat was now complete. But the horns remained still, the jaws remained shut, and the eyes and ears remained closed, for the Goat knew not how to use them and knew of nothing to use them on. Thoughts coursed through the Goat-head and sensations through the Goat-body, and out of the Goat-head sprang the Goat-center, becoming Goat-mind. But still the Goat-mind had no control-thought, rather receiving thought as a riverbed receives the waters of a stream. And the Goat-mind did not know of itself except by the stream of its thought.

And so the Goat-center was suspended upon pole upon pole upon pole upon Pole, and all else was as Pole to the Goat-mind.

Part III: Goat

The Pole's Rejection of the Goat: Goat-on-its-own
As the Goat had been formed from the Goat-sphere, the Pole had grown taller, raising the Goat ever higher above the surface. However, no thought or sensation passed through the Pole. The Pole was lifeless, and there was no Pole-mind.

The energies of the Goat flowed downward into the Pole as the Goat strove to eject from itself all that was not-Goat and to balance itself on the Pole, which it saw as other than itself. After awhile, there arose a great trembling in the Pole, and the Pole shook with a force that reverberated across the whole surface of the waters.

The energy became too much for the Pole to contain, and so the Pole began to reject the Goat. All of the energy collected at the base of the Pole, and the Pole began to strike violently upward at the Goat.

Four times the Pole struck the Goat, and at each strike one of the Goat-hooves was rent from the Pole. After each strike, the energies collected for another season. From the completion of the Goat to its final separation from the Pole, the rejection of Goat by Pole ran the full course of a year. When all was done, Goat was Goat and Pole was Pole and Goat-and-Pole ceased to be.



The Goat's Dilemma
Now fully separated from the Pole, the Goat felt the first sensation of self-awareness. The Goat jumped up into the air, landing first on one Goat-hoof, then scrambling with the other three Goat-legs to regain its balance, finally coming to rest again with all four Goat-legs on the Pole. The Goat was more terrified than ever of the Pole, as it embodied all that was not-Goat, and the Goat wanted only to rise above and away from the Pole. Becoming more aware of itself through these newfound desires and now in full possession of control-thought, the Goat searched frantically for some action that would distance it from the Pole.

All throughout the history of the Goat-raising, the Goat-center had sought upward and outward for something external to give it identity and direction. From the first separation of Goat-and-Pole to the last raising of the Goat-mind from Goat-head, one dwelling place of the Goat-center after another had risen out of the last, making the last as Pole to it. And now the Goat-center, afloat in the Goat-mind, knew nowhere further to turn for direction and control.

The Goat knew of only Goat and Pole, blindingly aware of the former and deeply repulsed by the latter. To the Goat, all else was a formless ether filled only by Goat and Pole. In its angst, the Goat thought that surely there must be something else, something not-Goat and not-Pole. The Goat resolved to find this other being and raise the Goat-center toward it, ever higher above the Pole.



The Opening of the Goat-eyes and the Pakistani Man Holding the Pole
With all its energy the Goat-mind reached outward beyond the Goat, but not downward, where lay the Pole, and not upward, where lay an unknown even more daunting.

With the Goat-head fixed forward, the lids of the Goat-eyes slowly opened and the Goat-ears began to let in sound. The Goat-head turned to each side, and the Goat saw all around it a crowd of Pakistanis watching it. Startled by a sensation like nothing it had ever felt before, the Goat closed its eyes and ears and jumped up into the air a second time. It landed at first on two Goat-hooves, briefly flailing the other two Goat-legs about before regaining its footing on the Pole.

The Goat-head then turned downward, and the Goat saw the Pakistani man holding and steadying the Pole. Startled again, the Goat closed its eyes and ears and jumped up into the air a third time. It landed at first on three Goat-hooves, holding the other Goat-leg up to the side before planting it on the Pole and regaining its balance on the Pole.

The Goat-head then turned upward, and the Goat saw only a boundless expanse of sky. Startled again, the Goat jumped into the air a fourth and final time. This time it landed on all four Goat-hooves, instantly at balance.



The Goat's Realization
Having remained open during the final jump, the Goat-eyes and Goat-ears closed, never to open again. The Goat had realized in its last upward glance that the next dwelling place of the Goat-center was to be found not beyond but within, and that the Goat-head itself was the highest point in sight. The Goat noted that all the Pakistanis stood on the ground, while it was suspended in the air by the Pole to the awe of all watching.

While the Goat had searched for a master outside of itself, it now realized that the Pakistanis all looked to the Goat for meaning and guidance. It knew that it was the highest form of being, and the answers to the mysteries and angst of being were to be found within itself if anywhere. And so it had no need for any of the faculties of the Goat-eyes, Goat-ears, Goat-horns, or Goat-jaws, only those of the Goat-legs.

Most importantly, though, the Goat realized that its existence comprised far more than just Goat. For the first time, the Goat saw itself as the balance of Goat and Pole, involving everything from the Goat-mind to the Pakistani man, perhaps even more that the Goat could only begin to fathom. It knew from the first that the totality of this balance was beyond its comprehension, but this brief glimpse of unveiled reality was all it needed to know that the Goat-center needed to go inward and reunite with the unity of Goat-and-Pole before it could move higher. This stunning realization, thought the Goat, was the whole reason the Goat-center had risen to its height in the Goat-mind, and the next step was clear.

The Goat had learned that its own realization of the fact of its being on the Pole was the culmination of the whole Goat-raising, and that nothing but absurdity and lies could be found outside of this embodied truth. Content in this knowledge, the corners of the Goat-mouth turned up in an eternal grin of serenity, and the Goat never again moved from the Pole.